How to Deal with Failure


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“Maybe It Will Work Out This Time.”

Have you ever said that to yourself? Starting a new job, interviewing for the 100th time, getting married for the 2nd time or more, dating a new person, starting a new weight loss program, switching majors in college, moving to a new city, etc. The sad truth is that it probably won’t work out if you go into it with this thought. Wishful thinking doesn’t get you very far. You can muster up some enthusiasm to start a new endeavor but unless you’ve changed on the inside, you won’t do much better on the outside than you did last time.

To truly succeed, you’ve got to give up the old labels, the old habits, the old mindset, that landed you in misery in the first place.

You need to get your actions in-line with your values, intuition, gut, and your heart. If you worry too much about what works for others, you will fail. If you compare yourself to someone else, you will fail. If you continue with the same routines, habits, and behavior patterns as you operated under up until now, you will fail. Different settings, same outcome. Fail, fail, and fail again!

Are you sick of it yet? How many more times can you handle it before you call it quits, give up, settle, and abandon your soul to a life of misery entirely?

If you ignore bad feelings or inner hesitations, you will fail. If you don’t have the right people around you, you will fail. Once that failure pattern takes hold, it will kill your spirit over time. You will develop unhealthy coping mechanisms like drama-filled relationships, diversions like tv or shopping, food or alcohol over-consumption or even pills, and more bad habits that you definitely don’t want and with time, change will become much, much harder.

How do you prevent all of this?

Mindset is such a short yet loaded word. It is the invisible glue that holds dreams together. It is the magic between success and failure. It is like air, invisible yet indispensable. Don’t think because you can’t see it that it doesn’t matter. In fact, it is more powerful than most tangible elements. Around every successful person is an aura of energy you can’t see but you can feel and it is entirely fueled by mindset.

Subconsciously, we are all operating under labels. If previously you had bad luck with a sport, you may avoid trying any new sports. Your subconscious mind is telling you “I’m not good at sports.” This statement is holding you back from reaching your optimal health. If you suffered from obesity in childhood, you may still be carrying around the inner thought “I am fat.” and letting this keep you from losing weight long-term. At work, you may once long ago have been criticized for your something like your accent or your lisp so subconsciously told yourself “I’m not a good speaker” so you avoid presenting your ideas or speaking up in meetings and this is holding you back from promotion opportunities. These are only a few examples.

So how does your mindset work? It is your internal operating system. The first step is self-awareness. Can you hear the inner voices? There is an inner coach and a saboteur voice telling you what to do all day long. No, it isn’t crazy. This is absolutely normal. It is like a radio with only two stations. Which voice do you listen to? I like to teach clients to change the channel. We switch from the ‘assy’ channel to the ‘sassy’ channel. I want you to be bold, courageous, empowered, and fearless. That is what SASSY stands for. You can change the inner dialogue. Replacing the old labels with new ones is possible, from “I am fat”. to “I am fit”. We can tell ourselves “I am the kind of person who eats healthy and works out.” or “I am the kind of person who presents well my ideas and has a strong presence in meetings.” We can re-train your self-talk.

Why is this so important? People all want results like “Get Promoted” or “Get Fit” but the truth is that it is a mindset that drives your habits and your habits are the actions that control the outcome. The intangible element influences the tangible results. We need to start with mindset and over time, your habits will reflect what you tell yourself. Coaches are good at finding blind spots too that you may not see yourself at first. This is the key to lasting results. Don’t waste your time or money on starting or continuing endeavors without first tackling your mindset. If you want true success, you must work on the invisible side.

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Are you ready to let go of old BS beliefs? These are the things you tell yourself that hold you back. Letting go of these beliefs is your key to achieving a success mindset. What are you holding on to?


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